Rapture 940AR

Our brave heroes give a rousing speech

(After discovering that Sandy Hill traffics in babies to keep the demons at bay..)

People will tell you we abandoned you.

People will tell you sacrifices had to be made.

People will tell you we died and never came back.

These have all been lies. We will not lie to you. You must wise up and take care of yourselves. We fight – for the future!

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MacGruber rescues the Girl
MacGruber fucking people, MacGruber not having a plan, MacGruber showing up at a bad time

“So MacGruber. You gonna go and do what’s needed?” Aetienti Comcast gave MacGruber a hard look, sizing up the up the man.

“Of course I will.” With that, MacGruber stormed out of the leader of the Black Flames private den, and off to save Eris, the daughter of his war buddy.

The problem was that MacGruber had pretty much ignored Aetienti’s instructions up to that point. Something about an informant at the bar, sex slaves, cultural revolution, and not killing people.

At the Bar

“Tell me – what do I have to do to get the girl!!” shouted MacGruber as he shook the informant violently.

“Bring ”/campaigns/rapture-940ar/characters/dallas" class=“wiki-content-link”>Dallas to the 3rd floor of the hyren sectum, alone, and the girl is yours."

“Well shit OK that sounds easy enough.”

At Dallas’ sex slave headquarters

“Tell me – what do I have to do to get you to come to the 3rd floor?”

[OOC: I can’t remember – what did MacGruber do to turn in Dallas as a sex slave?]

Meanwhile…

Verizon and Svass hunkered down in the lab, Svass performing research on the Minh using the Manatron, and Verizon attempting to steady his comrade and keep him free of distractions. Unfortunately Kimi Thai showed up and pleaded for the two budding heroes to meet with Utumbo and disarm some nefarious scheme.

But not before Svass created a “Minh honing device” which he named the BroodQueen Amulet. [magic item, +1 AC versus Minh, daily ability: for 1 hour know closest of BroodQueens. Other undiscovered ward effects].

With much prodding Kimi eventually dragged them to a bar to discuss, warnings were made, drinks were had, and after much conversation Verizon and Svass left to intercede a demon sacrifice.

Right when Svass and Verizon had positioned the perfect drop on their unaware opponents, MacGruber showed up.

MacGruber kills people

Dallas was phased in / phased out as cultists attempted to transmogrify his soul in exchange for incarnating a demon. Or something like that. MacGruber pretty much killed everyone, and even saved Dallas, though MacGruber was the one who had traded Dallas’ life for that of Eris. Dallas doesn’t know that though. Because he lost his memory as a side effect of the ritual.

When Dallas’ body guards showed up, Svass managed to convince them to move a big evil demon statue and cultist trappings to his study at the College. Which lands our adventurers in a big pile of shit for the next session.

God summed it up thus:

You disrupted some weird ass ritual that was changing the boy-pimp, Dallas, into a demon, but that left Dallas memoryless.
MacGruber has a card with a location on it to meet his informant that told him where to take Dallas.
Utumbo, the Princess’ guardian, is waiting for you to give him feedback on your investigation into the possible kidnappers of the Princess.
The manatron has enough Mihn-junk for probably one more experiment, though it’ll require everyone’s help to keep the distractions at bay and possibly do other laboratory tricks.
You have 5 days before leaving the colony.
There is to be a parade/party to celebrate you leaving the walls immediately after dining with the Baron. You an already feel the festiveness.
You are to leave during the parade, following a guide through the Mihn tunnels towards the Hellgate appx 15miles north of the colony.

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MacGruber sticks it to the Black Flame
MacGruber fucking people, MacGruber not having a plan, MacGruber disguising people as MacGruber
  • STUFF BEFORE THE CAGE MATCH *

MacGruber started the day the same way he starts every day. By getting totally hammered at the bar.

While there he ran into his old war buddy who was like “DUDE! My daughter Eris is missing! Shit is fucked! Can you find her for me? I’m pretty sure the Black Flame did it.”

MacGruber was like “Dude no problem. I will fucking kill whoever did this.”

So MacGruber was gonna drink more and go rip some throats out in search of whoever kidnapped
Eris when Verizon and Svass Thai showed up and were like “Dude we need your help in a cage match!! We’re fighting the son of the black Flame!”

MacGruber was like “I’m your man. I’ll rip their fucking throats out.”

Fast forward and MacGruber heads to the stronghold of the Black Flame, demands to see their leader to talk about Eris, says “Yo I’ll be at this cage match 6 o Clock so see you there pussies,” and then heads to the cage match.

To lay a trap for teh Black Flame, MacGruber dressed up Kimi Thai, Svasse Thai’s little brother, AS MacGruber. And then left Kimi Thai alone in the arena at 6 PM. Unfortunately the Black Flame didn’t show up or start any hijinks. Because MacGruber was so ready.

While Kimi Thai was alone MacGruber helped Verizon ransack the King’s Skybox under the pretense of inspecting it for traps against the princess.

  • THE CAGE MATCH *

The black flame team was thoroughly routed in the cage match. MacGruber dashed into battle first, gained the high ground, and then did some weird stuff for a while, disabling some goonies and attacking the Black Flame leader’s son. Shit really went down when a portal opened up and Minh tried to gobble up the princess and the King. This is when MacGruber jumped into high gear. MacGruber threw the Minh the son of the Black Flame as bait, so that he could rescue the princess. And then, right before the son was pulled into the portal, MacGruber rescued him too.

Afterwards the leader of the Black Flame came down and thanked MacGrugber – and MacGruber was like “we need to talk about Eris.” And the leader was like “Yeah dude, you’re a baddass, let’s talk.”

Did I mention somehow MacGruber also made a lot of money?

Here’s how the all knowing God summed it up:

In the aftermath of the latest Mihn invasion, a shaken father, Atienti Comcast – Leader of the Black Flame – approached Google to thank him for his valor in saving the younger Comcast from a Mihn demise. A deal was struck that Google was to visit Atienti in the stronghold of the Black Flame to discuss the disappearance of Eris, the daughter of a fellow war buddy of Google’s. Meanwhile, Kimi Thai, younger brother of Svasse Thai, won both the Princess’ and Baron’s hearts in rescuing the Princess from what was rumored as a targeted abduction. Verizon introduced himself to Baron Thermos as a practical man by returning the Baron’s pristine valuables after keeping them safe from the foreseen abduction attempt, and Svasse gathered some broken Mihn specimens to return to the lab for one last push before departing for the Gates.

There are now six days until the departure ceremony.

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